Reboot:day 3

Another good day, although I ate a little more desert/carbs than I should have.... I did exercise in the morning and that felt really good.  

I worked on the screen and then had to put it aside because I needed to pick up supplies to finish it.  I went out shopping with my friend and picked up the first of my Christmas items.  It was fun and nice to get out.  We went to Starbucks and sat and chatted and enjoyed a coffee.  Well, I had a latte and she had tea. 

Today I ate

Eggs and chicken sausage, sourdough toast with blueberry sauce

1/2 mini bagel with butter
Avocado toast
Handful of nuts

Nonfat grande latte with whipped cream, mini vanilla bean scone
Spaghetti squash 

Exercise

7 min rebounder
2 min health rider
19min yoga

This is pretty basic, not to strenuous or hardcore....  my husband calls this technique winning by under-achieving.  Often we give up or give in because it's too hard or we don't have the time for a workout... so his philosophy is go for 5 min on the treadmill or elliptical, or just walk around the block.  But usually once you've get going you'll do a little more.... and so you are winning.  And don't beat yourself up because you are doing a little that probably more than most people!  Have a wonderful day!
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Yesterday eating was good, 
Sour dough toast,  oatmeal with pecans, blackberries, cinnamon and blueberry sauce 

chickenvegetable soup, potato chips

Mushroom, spinache and cheddar omelette

Vino
Black cherry yogurt

I snacked on a couple cookies, a couple mini cinnamon apple muffins, and  a handful of Cashews

17 min yoga
5 min hoolahoop
Rebounder

Day 2: reboot

Feeling positive... yesterday was busy... I found myself going to the cupboard and opening it numerous times during the day.  I'd open it and look to see what was in there... dangerous business.  Cookies, nuts and chips and crackers... then I'd shut the door and think why are you doing that girl? So eating wise yesterday.
Oatmeal for breakfast with pecans, apples 🍎, cinnamon, and homemade blueberry sauce.
Lunch was a ham, egg and cheese on sourdough.
Dinner was mystery squash and spaghetti sauce with ground beef.  We had some squash come up in the garden from seed from last year... it looked like a spaghetti squash but it may have been a cross between a pumpkin and spaghetti squash.  It was ok.  My husband seemed to really enjoy dinner.  But I was disappointed that it didn't quite string like spaghetti squash.  It tasted fine... just the presentation wasn't quite right.
I drank more water. And ate less snack stuff.  A couple cookies with coffee after dinner .  A glass of vino too.

Exercise
The rebounder aka mini trampoline.  My health rider for a couple minutes.  And then a 14 yoga stretch.  So that was good... I looked all over for my hoolahoop but couldn't find it.  It must have gotten tossed out.  That made me sad.  I'll have to see if I can pick one up.

Today we have church and after that work to do around the house.  I'd like to start a new sewing project.  Maybe use one of my old sewing machines.  They are so pretty.  Love my old singers!

Well, that's about it for now.... might add to this post later.                                                 

Ok, church was great!  Enjoyed the message.  Today was a good day, busy day.  Good eating... not too much snacking.  The boys cleaned the garage.  They found my hoolahoop which was hiding in there.  Woohoo!  I started sewing a screen for the dogs so they don't fall through the stair railings.  My dogs are both developing cataracts so they can't see very well.  I'll finish up the screen tomorrow.

So that's that.... and that's not too bad!

Day 1: Reboot, restart, move forward, hopefully lose some weight

Life has been quite crazy for the last 4 years.  Our family has gone through so many changes.  Disappointment, Cancer, Death, travel, a wedding, semi-retirement and through all of that, with my emotions up and down it has not crushed me because my faith in God and that this is all part of His plan.  Oh and my husband is a rock.  He always puts things into proper perspective.

Over the last few years my weight has slowly creeped up.  I'm now at my pregnancy weight.  Thankfully I didn't gain a ton when I was pregnant. None of my clothes fit and I don't want to buy anything new because if something doesn't change I'll be buying clothes again when they don't fit anymore.

So I plan to journal my reboot and restart- which starts today at 150 lbs
     Daily exercise- not killing myself though,
     Eating well- cutting sugar, less carbs,
     More water, a little less coffee
   
I have a birthday in February-  so it would be wonderful if my clothes to fit better and I could lose 10 pounds.  Also sometimes my hip bothers me.  It was hurting sometimes when I fast walked.  I don't know if it was my old running shoes or tightness.  If I can do some yoga, maybe I can stretch it out. I bought a little rebounding trampoline at a restore.  Now I just have to use it.

The weather has turned cold almost overnight.  We lost power yesterday for about 8 hours.  Thankfully not longer than that.  No power here means now lights, no heat, no cooking, and no water.    I don't really like walking outside in the cold, ice and snow.  But it's ok.  The power is back on and all day I've been praising God, thanking JESUS for the electricity that powers things that make life easier for us.  So that was a little reminder not to take things for granted, blessings large and small are all around us everyday.

 Anyway, maybe each day I'll poke at some of the things that have been going on over the last few years... good and bad... maybe.... I don't know.

Times a wasting.... waisting.... where's my hoolahoop.   Sounds like a fun way to start to get moving....

Busy as a bee 🐝

Another trip.  This time I'm back in California.  My nephew and I flew out last night as he needed to get home and my lovely daughter is having a bridal shower this weekend.  I'm happy and excited to attend.  Her BFF has planned and delegated and I'm certain it will be a wonderful day.  My sisters and nieces and BFF will be there.  But I am very tired from all this traveling.  Still have two more trips a wedding and a reception.... then calm.... hopefully not before the storm.

I finished the wedding quilt.  I sure hope they like it.  It was a lot of work.  The most challenging one I have done.  Curved piecing, on point and mitered borders. Plus the size- a large quilt gets cumbersome to work on as it goes together.  I like the way it turned out.... but.... it never looks like much until it is quilted!  That's when the magic happens!

Right now only half a dozen have seen it... I don't want anyone to slip and show my girl.  Or her to somehow see a picture of it.  It goes to the quilter this weekend.

So I actually put the quilt in my checked luggage on a direct flight.  Last time I came into LAX there were so many delays. Oh boy, I felt so bad for my future SIL because he was there to get me but the flight sat on the tarmac for 40 min then my bag was forever getting off the baggage claim and I was meeting him for the first time. I felt so bad that he had to wait and wait -  So yesterday, we came right into the gate, the last gate right by the stairs to go to the carousel at baggage claim.  My daughter said, "Call me when you get your bag...." well, she called to see how things were going. I told her, "We just got to baggage claim and the bells are going off that it is starting to drop bags.... I'm confident (hopeful) that my bag won't be one of the last off."  BA-BAM!  Who's bag was the first off the carousel! Yes, it was mine.  And we walked outside and got in the car.  That was crazy.  I guess the little things get me jazzed.

So I guess that's about all that's happening.  I think when I get home I'm going to get together with my other BFF and we are going to teach ourselves silk ribbon embroidery.  So I can have some handwork to do on vacations, on a flight, at night or whenever it's not convenient to use a machine.
I may help my daughter do some  mending and alterations.... her fiancé has a pair of Levi's that look as if he somehow managed to evade Wolverine just by the seat of his pants.

Have a lovely day, and a wonderful weekend.  Whatever you do, and wherever you go, share a smile and a kind word or deed.  God bless you!

Camping Trip

We are having a great time with my nephew.  On Tuesday he flew out to see us for two weeks.  We picked him up from the airport and drove home.  It's a 50 or so min drive.  He seemed a bit timid.  See we have never lived close to his family and so it's hard to have a relationship.... maybe easier now with social media to stay in touch but he's 15 so while there is so much love.... we have to get better acquainted.  

So he and my son stayed up late and played some video games.  In the morning we finished packing the little RV and got the boys up, ate breakfast and on our way to Big Bone Lick State Park we went.  We ended up bring our little dogs because they are so backwards that we didn't feel comfortable leaving them without a resident house sitter.  They are so needy.  And we didn't want our neighbor to have to clean up after the girls.... grrrrr.  Or deal with it when we returned home.

So far things have been fine.  It's too warm to leave them in the RV in a parking lot... so someone has to stay with them or check on them.  It's not ideal but that's what we are dealing with. 

Today we went to the Creation Museum.  It was cool.  We got to hear Ken Ham speak.  Really enjoyed it.  It was interesting.  In one of the exhibits about race.... the fact that all people are of the same race, going back to Adam and Eve, until the Tower of Babel, scattered and split folks up.  A Caucasian woman said to an African American woman , "Isn't it wonderful that we are all of the same race."  Instead of saying yes, or amen, or you got that right.... she said I wish the president believed that.  It made me sad.  That we can't just be nice.  Why put a negative spin on that conversation.  

We came back to the campground took a walk and well, let's just say I told them we were taking the wrong fork in the trail but got out voted.  So the very winding, hilly, muddy, and slippery .5 mile walk ended up being over a mile.  But we found the bison and I was thrilled to find a beautiful butterfly to photograph.  Then we walked back on the road... probably a little over a mile.  More butterflies of different varieties.  One which landed on my hand.... and as we were about to melt from the steamy hot weather and the walk up the steep hill a fawn crossed the road a little over half the way up the hill in front of us.  Very, very cool.  I literally felt like I was melting.  I headed to the showers to wash, shampoo and change.  I felt like a new woman.
  

We started dinner when I got back.  We had brats.  Well, we almost didn't.  I left them in the freezer.  There were eight of them frozen together solid.  So the water I was heating for corn on the cob, we put the brats into until I had 8 not 1, then grilled them.  Then I started some new water for the corn.  So dinner was brats, corn on the cob, sweet potatoes, and broccoli and chips.  For dessert s'mores.  My husband made me the most perfectly created s'more and brought it to me while I was doing dishes.  Mmmmmm.  Yum yum yummity!

We are comfortable here at the campground.  We have electricity and water.  The RV keeps the bugs outside.  But in a sense we are roughing it out here.  We have no tv, internet or cell coverage.  It's actually nice.   It is strange though to be unplugged. 

Now we are settling in for the night.  They may make a campfire tonight.  To be honest I'm pooped... tuckered out... spent.... wasted.... so tired.  

Tomorrow is the Ark Encounter.  Up early, breakfast and go.  Then back here for a trip to the little museum here at the park.  Probably walking... I hope my legs are still working tomorrow!  Hahaha.... that was a treacherous walk today. My footing slipped numerous times but I was being careful so I didn't fall.  Anyway, life can be  wonderful, eventful, exciting, disappointing, sad and yet we can still be happy if we understand that it is not always gonna be rosy..... roses have thorns and life isn't without pain, because of sin.  But we can have hope in the God of the Bible -that all is not in vain.  He will sustain our needs and give purpose to our lives and that thought gives me peace and joy. Even when I'm feeling a wee bit sad.  It keeps me from falling into a deep chasm of depression.  Knowing the best is yet to come.

New Normal

Things have settled into normalcy around here.  I still think about something, experience something or remember something and want to call my mom and tell her about it.... but it's not several times a day everyday.  Moms husband has moved on, he's dating.  No comment.  I want to keep things positive here.  I knew he would find someone else to share his life with and I want him to be happy but this is pretty quick....

I've been working on a wedding gift for my daughter and her fiancé.  It is coming along.  So far I've got about 150 hours into this quilt. Cutting and piecing the blocks and I have started sewing the rows together.  I probably have another 10 -12 hours to finish up the rows and cutting and sewing the borders and binding.   Then it will go to Lorna, my best friend and quilting superstar.  She will quilt it and probably sew the binding on.  Big project- definitely a labor of love.

I love sewing quilts.  I have been giving them away as gifts.  I've had several wedding this last year and new baby's... hahaha new baby.... that reminds me of a comedians skit about new baby cards ... as opposed to old babies.... anyway.... back on track. Quilting has been very therapeutic for me.

I'm getting ready for my nephews visit.  He is going to spend 2 weeks with us.  And we have quite a few activities planned for the time while he is here.  A baseball game, an art museum, the rock and roll hall of fame, some camping, and the Ark and Creation Museum, biking and kayaking.  So 2 weeks will go by fast!

We have been doing some house repairs and updates.  Some long overdo.  So that's going to be nice.  New cordless blinds a couple new doors and maybe new gutters.  Right now the gutters are so bad that they are ruining my flower beds when we get a good rain..... too much water too fast and hard.  So I'm excited at the prospect of that improvement. And I can do some planting afterward.  Lots of work to do all the time.  But it's all good.  We try to keep busy and when I'm busy I'm more productive and much happier.

So that's what's up.  I think it's important to focus only on the positive things in life.  If you are reading this,  my prayer is that God will bless you with peace and comfort today.

Less Funky

Saturday night... tomorrow is Mother'sDay.... first one without my mom.... weird.... I should have sent cards to my sisters... I meant to and I didn't.... I still haven't sent out my thank you notes... maybe I will get them done tomorrow.

I have a headache tonight so I wasn't very productive tonight. But today,  I did get my Purple Hop Quilt assembled and the binding made.  I also got a package packed to send to Lorna with the backing for EQ2 and the Purple Hop and some fun things for her.... and it is mailed.

It was a lovely day but rain was expected and for the next week!  So we went for a bike ride and it was great.  The thing about the motorcycle is when your out zooming along it's a sensory experience.  Today the lilacs were amazingly fragrant... the wind was blowing us around a bit, but the birds were enjoying the wind.  I enjoyed watching them as they soared high.

The Gardenia I received was struggling.  After repotting it and worrying over the yellow leaves that were appearing, it may be coming out of its funk.  There's a spot on the front porch for it, but the temps are still dipping into the 50s or lower so I've been bringing it in at night.  Hopefully it will pull through.

I woke up early, to sew, to get that stuff in the mail by noon.  Success.  But tonight I'm fading fast.

Hahaha, this was a backwards post... today was a good day. Maybe like the Gardenia, I will soon get out of my funk.  Thankful for my family and hopeful for the changes on the horizon.... expected and unexpected.

Thoughtful Ride

How weird is life?  The good and the bad- sometimes it is easy and sometimes it's hard.  And just like Ohio weather you get a bit of it all in a day.

The dog had to go to the vet to get a tooth pulled. Poor little puppy girl. I'm concerned for her because she is so little.

My husband drove me to the quilt shop after I got home from the vet. He is so sweet.  And that was nice.  On my way, a friend called struggling with news she heard today.  She was sad and I wanted to comfort her.

As I was shopping for fabric to finish my project, a wedding gift for our niece, my sister calls and is having a rough day. Sunday is Mother's Day and she is struggling with that loss.  I'm so far away but I want to sit down with her and listen be there for her.... my other sister is having a tough time too.  This is so hard.  Mom has been gone for a month now.  We are all struggling with it. I'm sad because I'm not in a position to drop everything and be there with them.

Then as I am checking out- paying for my purchase the owner tells me a something - the shop is closing... They are moving.... I'm happy for them because the move will be nice for them and the circumstances seem God driven.... everything falling into place perfectly.... but I feel sad because I enjoy shopping and visiting with these fabulous ladies!

On the way home, deep in thought, I notice the lovely scenery around us.  Pink trees, white trees, and the ones that have green leaves starting to bud.  Along the hillside, the trilliums are blooming.... it's so lovely, and the warmth of the sun is glorious.  So I suggested that we should ride the bike to lunch and he was up for it.

Arrived home, changed clothes, and away we went on the bike, it felt great.  The weather gorgeous and my mind wandering to my thoughts of life.   I'm looking at homes and I'm thinking I wish I loved my house more.... though we made this house our home, a nice place to live, I don't love the floor plan- I don't think it would be hard to leave it. It would be hard to leave my friends, my church and church family.  That's something we have been thinking about.... If Ohio weather wasn't so cold for so long it would be nice to stay here.... but the weather is not something we want to deal with anymore.  We like the outdoors too much.  Now we are passing fields of dandelions and it's so pretty.

Lunch is good.  And we decide to ride through Mill Creek Park.  I remember coming here with my children on school field trips, for my son's photography project, for his graduation photo shoot and for several graduation parties.  Then as we are driving out of the park, the flowering trees were dropping petals and it looked like it was snowing.... but that kind of snow was just fine with me!

After arriving home, the dog needs picked up.  She did ok throughout the procedure but she obviously feels terrible.  Poor little thing.  She is out of it.  I hope I can get her to drink some water.  I'm concerned for her.

It was a busy day and we didn't get the spare room painted.  And that is ok, we will just do it tomorrow.  The day was good, but tinged with sadness.  It is good to try to look at things with hopefulness. That's what I'm trying to do.  Encouraging others, hoping for the best.  If not, I wouldn't want to even get out of bed in the morning.

Feeling thankful to Jesus that today was mostly pretty good. We are all healthy, we have a roof over our heads, food in our tummies, good friends, family, and hey, the sun is shining,

Make It A Good One

Fantastic day!  It was a great weather day!  And a day of accomplishments...

All the plants planted.
The garden readied for planting.
Did some weeding.
The green wall painted.
The back of EQ2 put together and boxed and ready for mailing.
Chuck's table topper is boxed and ready for mailing.
Matt's quilt ready for mailing.
Sewed the ties on a little smocked bonnet.
A crock pot cooked Pork Butt Roast.  Delicious!

After all that work, I feel pretty good.  A little tired! But darn good.  So nibbled on some pulled pork, had a glass of vino and a chunk of chocolate.

The other day we noticed that our kitty had a puncture wound on his chin.  We cleaned him up and put some peroxide on it. He seems to be doing good.  No lasting effect.... I wonder what he got into...

One of my little dogs, Kenzie, has dental issues.  She has had a bunch of teeth pulled.  Poor little thing.... today I noticed she has a loose tooth. That means a call to the vet on Monday and she's gonna lose another tooth... hopefully not more than one.

So what's up for the evening... watching a Netflix movie, Wild Hogs, with my boys.  Hahaha.  I'm easily amused.

You know, life is fantastic. There is so much to be thankful for in life.  Tomorrow isn't promised, we don't know what is in store.... so enjoy each day as much as possible.  Tomorrow I'm looking forward to visiting with my church family and friends, doing some sewing, maybe a bike ride, oh who knows, it's gonna be good.

Tea Party

Day 4 of sugar free, carb-less.

Lots of willpower today. I was hungry all day.... I ate well but I think it was mental... Didn't want to indulge because I was invited to a Tea Party and there would be wonderful things to nibble tonight. .

I was in a funky mood, not bored but wanting something else. Just trying to accomplish a few things.... but not a lot of focus.

The mail brought two packages for me.
Box 1 My binding for the table top.
Box 2 Was filled with goodies from my bestie and quilter, Lorna, she sent a quilt back to me, I have to decide how/to bind it with.  It had some green fabric for future projects a key chain and a little inch tall puppy from her grandson. What a sweetie he is.

I sewed the binding on the topper and tomorrow it gets boxed and mailed.  I hope it is suitable and functionable.  I think it turned out well.

Feeling a little anxious to get busy on the spare room.  The walls and ceiling are ready for paint, so my dear husband rolled the ceiling.  Later with brushes and buckets ready, I trimmed the ceiling, doorways and window with the white.  After finishing, realized the old phone jack should be removed and the hole patched- it's old and ugly.  Now it is gone.  The patch will need to be touched up once it drys, and so that might take a couple days- so tomorrow will be the day to trim and paint the green wall.  But I'm making progress.  That's what's important.... hahaha, at one point I was holding the paint brush and Tupperware container of paint in one hand, I reached up with the other hand to wipe a spot of paint off the ceiling..... and as I did that I wasn't paying attention to the paint cup in my hand until I felt paint pouring down my arm.... lol.... oopsie!  So now that's done, clean up the paint brush and cup.... look at the clock.... yikes!  It's time to get ready for Mariellen's Tea Party.

The Tea Party was so nice, but mostly because the ladies are so nice.   There were 5 of us. Mariellen and her daughter made leek soup, watercress sandwiches, egg salad sandwiches, lemonade, and homemade blackberry cordial- I brought fruit- strawberries, pineapple, and raspberries.  And dessert was a flourless chocolate cake and a cup of tea.  It really was worth the wait/weight.  Hahaha!  It was all delicious! And set up so pretty!

The sunset was beautiful as I headed out.  Now I'm home and so thankful for my friends and family.  They make life worth living.  Good friends, good food, good times.  Feeling blessed.

The Sweet Things

Slow but steady.... moving along like a turtle, but moving forward.... so that's good.  

On the way home from the grocery store, it poured down rain. It was hard to see through the windshield.  But after arriving home, the sky cleared and the air felt so clean and fresh.

Managed to plant my gardenia and a tomato today.  2 down, 7 to go.  Choosing what to plant things in is the biggest issue I'm having.

While watching my husband in the backyard, I saw a unusual visitor in the backyard.  At one of the bird feeders was a Rose Breasted Grosbeak.  What a gorgeous bird.  There were the usual visitors too- cardinals, gold finches, a downy woodpecker, robins, a blue jay, sparrows and chickadees.  We love feeding the birds.  Watching them flit around.  It's a good way to spend time.

My son finished up the drywall finish work in the guest room.  Tomorrow should be painting day.

Today was also a good day eating wise.  I'm feeling pretty good and going to keep moving forward toward my goals. Sweets, I'm not missing them, not when life itself is so sweet.  The little things can bring such joy.

A New Day

Simply gorgeous day today- sunny, 80 degrees, and breezy. So there is the decision working inside or out... so a little of both...

First thing, make a list and head to the home improvement store.  Cactus soil, Azalea soil, paint, watering can, a hose.

 I needed potting soil for a Gardenia that I recieved as a gift.  I think it needs to be repotted.  After searching the Internet I add high ph potting soil to the list.  Well, I couldn't find the azalea soil.  Wasn't at Wally world either so later, my friend, Mariellen and I went to a greenhouse and I bought something they suggested.  Not sure what pot to put it in.... so I'll have to think about that.... I'm hoping to keep it alive for many years to come....

Choosing paint is a painful experience for me.... see color is wonderful, but.... my husband is a white paint kinda guy.  See if you paint every room the same color... touch ups are a breeze.... and well, makes sense.  But he's a good sport, so a pretty shade of white and one focal wall in a soft green.... the paint is chosen, mixed and shaken.... next is the actual painting of the room.  So excited!

There were so many gorgeous plants at the greenhouse.  Not overdoing it was a challenge.  Leaving with about 10 items.  Nothing planted today but home and watered.  Spent some time weeding, trimming, cleaning flower beds and pots.  The beginnings of a cheery yard.  The daffodils are about done.... the tulips are beginning to bloom and the peonies are about 8 inches high.  I'm looking forward to those beauties blooming this year.... all of them really.

For the last 2 years I've missed the spring blooms.  My mom was sick and I went out to visit and spend time with her every couple months.  It was hard but wonderful too.  I enjoyed spending time with my mom, daughter and sisters, and their families....  But it was hard because my guys were not there, so I was torn.  Life is a crazy ride. We try to control things but we really have little control over anything except our own behavior. Being kind and leaving a positive impact is the best we can do.

Tonight as I relax, laundry is happening.   And because it was a good day including eating, I indulged in a chunk of dark chocolate.  I'd like to drop 10lbs by August.  Morther of the bride.... that'll be me!

All in all, it was a good day.  There are many projects started.... and by taking little steps,  doing something every day I'll get things done... and that's the plan.  Not to overwhelm myself and burn out but to keep moving forward and achieving each goal.  Looking forward to what tomorrow will bring.

Not so blue after all!

It was a gorgeous day today in every way.

Last night I worked on a project for my moms husband.  She started it after she got sick and never finished it.  It kind of stretched me because I wasn't sure how to do it- and I only had a vague idea what he was asking me to do.   So I tackled it and figured it out. But made a mistake.  I used a package of binding that I had in my stash.  It was 24 inches too short...... yikes.

This morning my husband and I went out to pick up another package of navy binding to finish it up. Well, it seems that was a very old package.  The navy is now much bluer.  I was now blue myself. So rather than rip out the binding, I thought I would check on Social media... reach out to fellow seamstresses and crafters... I had several people find the right color in different size and types of bindings.  But one of them was right!  A shout out and thank you to Deb!

Talked to my daughter and she had a problem to take care of for work at the IRS office.  And wasn't anticipating it going well.  But it did!

It was so nice that my husband and I decided to go for a ride on the motorcycle.  We couldn't find the key to the bike.... looked and looked and looked.... got the spare and went for a ride.  It was gorgeous!

Looked for the keys again.  No luck... checked all pockets our coats and pants.  Then hmmm, what if they fell of the hook.... yep, they were on the floor behind the doggie bed.  Score!

So there were some issues but they didn't get me down and actually everything worked out great!

Today was the 1st day of cutting sugar.  Today wasn't hard.  I did aok.  No cravings.... but I did eat too many veggie straws .... I hope not to over indulge tomorrow...

Taking it one day at a time

It's so quiet.... the dogs, cat, and guys are asleep.... all is silent....  the clock just chimed but now I hear it ticking.... The bridge is being worked on so the road is closed.... no traffic noise.... a vehicle drives by the house but the main road is not being used.... no trucks, no traffic.... the dog sighs, the furnace kicks on and off.... a distant train whistle... such a quiet night.

Earlier we watched a movie that my daughter worked on called Gone Are The Days.  It was a western, set in the early 1920's.  The story was about an old outlaw and his last days.  How he made things right.... in his way.  It wasn't action packed... I had some questions about it when it was done....    It wasn't unbelievable.  It could have happened.  I liked it....

My son is working on some drywall around the house.  And when he's done I'm looking forward to watching some paint dry.  See, a couple years after my daughter's graduation from college I made her bedroom into a sewing room.  Then my husband said I needed a bigger room so we switched his home office with my "sewing room".  And now I wanted a spare bedroom again so we moved the office stuff downstairs and are remaking a bedroom.  My husband is amazing!

I have been sewing again.  I'm finding my smile again.  My arms don't feel weighted down.  I made cookies the other day.  I have some things on my to do list that I'm still struggling to get done.... maybe in the morning I can tackle some thank you notes.  Lots of folks were very supportive over the last few months.  That meant so much to me.  I miss my mom.  Talking to her.  I think of her every day and often during each day.....

I pray that tomorrow the sun will shine and that the temps will be warm and it will be a beautiful day to walk.   Yesterday, was gorgeous and the trail was packed with women pushing strollers, dog walkers, and some bicyclists.  Funny but as we walked the trail through the park I thought, I should have brought my camera in case we see a woodpecker.  And not 5 minutes later my husband says, "look a pileated woodpecker".  And we watched it pecking and hammering some downed tree branches. The camera on my phone isn't great but my husband got some video of it on his phone.... it was cool.  Hahaha....

Guess I'll just keep plugging along, one day at a time, making the best of things, and remind myself to be thankful for it all.



 

Change

If change is good.... why do we hate it so much.  Why isn't it more pleasant.  Why don't we relish it and look forward to it.

Change- there are several definitions

to make different in some particular
to make radically different 
to give a different position, course, or direction to
to replace with another
to make a shift from one to another

For the last 4 years things have been changing.  I've been managing but not very joyful about it.

I began quilting in the winter of 2014.

In 2015, my daughter graduated college, she was a Double Major and graduated Summa Cum Laude in 4 years. We really couldn't have been prouder of her accomplishment.  She also announced that she found a job and was looking for an apartment in Southern Ca.  I was devastated.  I understood that there were more opportunities for her there.  But I was so sad that she was not coming home.  I also found myself angry with my sister who may have encouraged her to stay.  If you're reading this.... I love you!  Not mad anymore.

When you're a mom there are so many complicated feelings and you have to put your own desires aside.  But you still have those feelings.... I struggled to be positive.  To encourage.  It was difficult to have her so far away and I have the 15 extra pounds to prove it.  Between quilting and talking to my mom I was doing ok.  

I have lived away from home for 29 years but talked to my mom often.  And for the last 10 years almost every day sometimes more than once a day.  Talking to mom and my quilting/sewing is probably the only things that kept me sane.  Gave me some purpose.  Kept me busy.  And I guess I've been very prolific.... since then I've created 40 or so quilts.  All of them a labor of love.  And I love giving them as gifts.  I have made a few to keep.  It's funny but I'll finish one and my husband will say who is that for?  Like when the kids were in school and I'd make cookies or brownies... and he'd say, "oh that smells good"  and then "I'd say they're for soccer...." 

Fast forward to Christmas 2015.  My mom had a seizure at dinner.  She had a bean size something in her head.  Inoperable and they were just going to monitor it and see what happens.... so anti seizure meds helped.  And then in the spring after an MRI they said we think we can get a biopsy now.  Brain cancer, glioblastoma.  We were all devastated.  Mom sought out treatments and she did very well for quite some time. We all rallied around her.  I visited and spent time with her helping and I am thankful for that time and the example she set.  She never complained. In April 2018,  she went to Heaven and is no longer limited by a failing body.   

I'm struggling with this loss.  Everyday I see something or do something and I reach for the phone or think I need to tell mom and I'm stopped in my tracks.  I can't and it's difficult and I don't like it.  

When my mom was sick - I was staying with her and we were sitting on the sofa.  She said, I want to talk to my mom about this and I can't and she got tearful.   She wanted her mommy.  And I want mine.   

I don't have any big enlightened answers.  I'm just trying to get through each day.  I feel drained.  I don't think it helped that the winter was especially long and cold and snowy.  But yesterday and today were beautiful. Today I went out for coffee with a friend.  And we went to the park for a walk.  And tonight I'll finish binding the school quilt.  And try to keep putting one foot in front of the other until there is a little more spring in each step.  That's how my mom would want me to handle it.  

To Blog Or Not To Blog

My SIL said I should start writing again.  Looking back at my previous posts I wonder what happened and why I stopped writing...

July 2012.... my daughter was about to begin her sophomore year of college.  My son was beginning his senior year of H.S. I guess I was probably busy...

So I've been thinking about it for the last week or so.

Today was a beautiful day and my husband went for a bike ride with a friend.  I was trying to finish up binding a quilt for HCS.  (For the last 3 years I've been quilting.) The guys came back later and asked if I wanted to go along for a ride to get coffee.  I said yes, put on my boots, a hoodie and jacket and my helmet and hopped on the back of the Harley.  Well, that coffee shop was closed.  So we went  to another further away.  It was a nice ride.  The sun was shining and the air felt good.  As I was watching the scenery I was thinking about what Cindy said about my blog.  That I should write again.

What do I have to contribute?  Why would anyone care what I have to say or what I think?  One of the problems with this world today is that everyone has an opinion.  And because of technology everyone shares it freely on the web.  And it's never much of a discussion.  Everyone seems to be entrenched in their beliefs.  Angry and mean spirited is the norm. So as we are cruising along, I'm thinking what can I offer?  I guess it is kindness.  Maybe a different perspective... Maybe nothing.... but maybe it would be good for me.  The last few years have been difficult for me... so if you are reading this and you disagree with me that's ok.  Don't read my stuff.  My intention is to support and uplift each other.  Life's ups and downs- highs and lows- can overwhelm us.  I know I've been feeling it.

Maybe this can help me sort out some things out.

Life is hard, but life is good, Because God is good.
Trying to look at things and people through love eyes 😍

Now back to my binding, I'm so close to being done.  Focus, focus, focus.